Mission Statement

My Mission

See Beauty: 

My mission is to recognize the beauty and the blessing that is each new day, to humbly accept the challenges and hardships as opportunities for growth, to find inspiration in both the ordinary and the extraordinary, to be moved, to be grateful.

Dignify:

May my light shine unabashedly and thus invite others to allow their own inner light to shine through. May I always dignify in thoughts, words, and actions the lives and sanctity of others.

Be: 

I will embrace my restless spirit and seek transformation of myself and the world around me while trying to be present in the moment and to those around me. Live intentionally, go deepr, be gentle, do no harm.

Feel: 

Strive for empathy- to feel your feelings. Accompany. Listen with my whole self. Serve and be served. Create a safe space.

Love:

Hold myself, my community, and my students lovingly accountable. Open the doors to my home and heart, reflect the love that I have been shown. Love unceasingly and without descretion.

Love this journey, this experience, this life- ¡Qué bonita es esta vida!

This Crazy, Beautiful Life

La Ciudad Heroica

Fierce

It seems like I´m always saying the same, but I´m really not sure where time has gone. I realized that the last time I updated my blog and thus updated you all with things going on in my life was about four months ago! Far too long! Therefore, utilizing the pictures, I´m going to give a few "snapshots" of my life over these past few months. August was one of the most fun months that I´ve spent here. It was filled with lots of action...mostly in celebration of the reintegration of Tacna to Perú. Tacna at one time was a part of Chile, but years ago was reintegrated into Perú, hence the celebration every August. I have mentioned before that Peruvians have a lot of pride, but I´d almost say that people in Tacna are equally, if not more, proud of being Tacneño than being Peruvian. It´s a fierce pride and so are the celebrations! It was a month filled with lots of exciting events. My roommates and I decided last minute to participate in a 5K that was being held in honor of Tacna Day. It was tons of fun to all run together. Afterwards we went out to eat ceviche with the mayor. He has taken a liking to the volunteers and likes to spoil us every so often with a delicious ceviche meal. Thanks Mr. Mayor!

     A highlight of the Tacna celebrations was participating in the parade. I spent the vast majority of my weekends and many evenings learning to dance "Saya". It´s a beautiful dance that many people near the tri-frontera of Perú, Chile and Bolivia dance. The dancers use these incredibly ornate, beautiful costumes. The women´s part is lovely, but I have to admit that I like the men´s part better! It´s just so energetic! They jump and stomp and spin like crazy. The bells on their feet make it all the more impressive. There are actually some women that do the men´s part, but I decided for my first year I´d just do the normal women´s part. It turned out to be a wonderful and truly unforgettable experience. The best part though, was actually participating in the parade. It was incredible being cheered on and it meant so much to me especially to have some of my friends and my roommates there supporting me. They were running along the parade route cheering and bringing me water. The only downside was the high-heels we had to wear for several hours, which would have been bad enough itself, but the situation was only worsened by the fact that approximately one minute after starting my strap broke! I tried to tie it and did the best I could, but I really messed up my feet. Just some battle wounds though!                  

     The day after the parade is when all the Tacneños hit the streets for the "passing of the flag". Early in the morning the people line the streets of the center of town. The streets are decorated with "alfombras"...literally "carpets" of flowers and painted sawdust. They make these incredibly elaborate pictures and sayings on the streets that are subsequently ruined during the procession, but they are beautiful while they last!!! Later in the morning women from Tacna pass through the streets carrying a giant flag. As I understand, it is done by women because during Chile´s occupation here only the women were allowed to carry the flag of Peru through the streets and only in silence, so that same tradition continues. Now though, they celebrate Tacna´s reintegration to Peru, and the celebration is anything but solemn. As the flag passes, Buganvillas (the flower of Tacna) rain down from the rooftops as the people cheer and wave, and a sense of pride for being from Taca is almost tangible in that moment.

A time to Relax                                                       I don´t think I´ve ever appreciated vacation time as much as I do now...nor have I ever needed it as much! Recently my roommate Rose and I took a trip to hike in one of the deepest canyons in the world, Colca Canyon. They were several really special days just being out in nature, enjoying the incredible views and especially the site of the condors flying high above. It was interesting learning about the different communities that inhabit the canyon. We jokingly said that the next Jesuit Volunteer community can be in the middle of the canyon where the only way you can get in and out is a pretty intense climb or by way of   mule. :) It was also interesting learning about some of the native beliefs. Although Catholocism was imposed on the people by the Spaniards in many parts of Perú, and in many of the communities in Colca for example, the people continue to practice their indigenous beliefs. One obvious example was their respect for and devotion to nature, such as the piles of rocks that could be found in parts of the journey. These piles of rocks were actually offerings that people made before crossing the threshold of the mountains for example. As I understand it, rather than simply entering they first make the offering to essentially ask permission from the spirits of the mountains. 

In Arequipa, before heading out to the Canyon.

Pretending to be condors :)

the offerings

La Casa Embrujada

Look what our students have done to us- made us go crazy
and turn into zombies....hahaha

The JVs here in Tacna like to connect with their students in a unique way during Halloween....by scaring our kids and (unintentionally of course) making a few cry! It is the tradition that every year we transform our house here in Habitat into a haunted house! Through the years and with the help of a lot of generous people from the states and locally we have accumulated a lot of stuff that we use to help with the transformation. We spent the majority of Saturday cleaning and preparing the house and then when the time came we worked on our own transformation as well. We painted our faces, dressed in old clothes and then went to work scaring the kids. The story this year was that the volunteers had all gone crazy (thanks to the students of course) and our house was actually the psychiatric ward of a hospital. I actually had a lot more fun then I expected. I´m not a huge Halloween fan, but it was actually tons of fun getting into the act. It was neat seeing how much the kids enjoyed it, too. Basically this whole year they´ve been bugging us about when we were going to do the haunted house, and when the time came I realized just how much the kids love it! Over 200 kids came! But not just students, some random kids from the nighborhood, and some adults, too! We collaborated with the other volunteers that were here visiting, our boss from the U.S., our neighbors and friends. It was a definite success, and all the money we made (we charge the kids a small fee to enter) is donated to Mes de Misión. So the kids actually help contribute to their classmates´ upcoming service trip. The best part of the night was afterwards when many of the students entered our house to take pictures with us, to talk to us, and a few poor kids in search of some loving because they were scared. It was also a highlight to hear my kids tell me they were going to behave better since they now know how scary we can be! ; )

My head was Miss Maureen´s "surprise" when the
kids opened the box.

The mushy veggies were worth it...

We didn´t let being in Perú keep us from
celebrating our Independence Day! We celebrated the
4th of July by sharing our U.S. flag jello with some
friends and setting off fireworks. 

As I have mentioned before, we have a rotation of chores and cooking as well. I was a bit terrified for my roommates´sake when I found out that I would be cooking on a weekly basis for all them, but as I think my roommates can attest to- I have improved! I have made some pretty tasty dishes and I have been feeling more confident in the kitchen...until a simply veggie curry crushed my confidence a few days ago. I was chopping away and had some vegetables steaming away on the stove when I had several visitors stop by. I sort of forgot about the food and ended up with a big pot of veggie mush. I was dissapointed and being hard on myself when my roommate Seamus reminded me that I wouldn´t remember the messed up dinner, but I would the conversations. I have made huge strides in spending more time with people and trying to make my life more relationship-oriented rather than task-oriented, but I definitely slip back into my old habits of being too busy and so it´s nice to have friends to remind me of what really matters, and the importance of quality time...even if that means the veggies get a little mushy.

Abandonment

During the social justice retreat that I also wrote about in the other entries we broke up into different groups and talked about various social issues that were pertinent to our own situation. We decided to delve deeper into an issue that we here in Tacna have become really familiar with- abandonment. Lately I´ve been thinking a lot about the value of family. I have always been grateful for my family obviously and incredibly appreciative of all they have done for me, but I do think at times I have taken for granted how fortunate I was to grow up in a very loving home with both parents and my sister. It has become so painfully obvious to me the grand difference a stable home situation truly makes in the lives of kids. What we see all too often here in Tacna is that one or both of the parents leave home to search for work elsewhere. Since we are on the border that means a lot of people head south to Chile, or elsewhere in Perú. The result is that the kids are left alone or with an older sibling. Many of the students are also abandoned more directly in the sense that (usually) the father has simply given up responsibility and thus the kids are left with only their mother. Granted there are some cases in which the mom has left, but those are extremely rare. Many of my students live with just their moms or an older sibling.

This certainly is not to say that having only one parent or being raised by a sibling or other family member means that the kids are gauranteed to have problems, because there are many people that have grown up just fine in these circumstances. However, there is definitely a connection with many of my students that are struggling in school with their behavior or grades and their home situation. One student for example whose mom works outside the country and whose dad is hardly ever around simply has not come to school in a week and a half. He is lacking that control at home, somebody to make sure he is completing his duties as a student first. Another student whose mom works outside the country and whose dad works elsewhere in Perú is leading my homeroom in failed classes. His seventeen year old brother and I conversed the other day about the situation and he expressed his frustration and his own helplessness about his brother. I felt for him...how difficult it must be to have to take on the role of the father of your 15 and 8 year old siblings at the age of 17. It has also been really tough seeing a lot of my students form really unhealthy relationships especially with the group of teenagers in the neighborhood that are involved in drugs and petty crime. ( A nurse yesterday was talking about how a lot of kids here start drinking at age 10...yikes!) Without the supervision at home they just sort of do what they want. The mother of one of my students for example moved away for a year to work in Chile and by the time she got back her daughter had already become so close with this group of delincuents and so much happened in that year that it´s hard to try and get her daughter back on track.

While there are numerous similar cases at Miguel Pro, at Rose´s school- Fe y Alegria the issue of abandonment is remarkably common. Rose has remarked how mature the older kids are, because by the time they reach seniors in high school many of them have already been essentially on their own or acting as the head of their household for several years.

The problem is very complex and comprehensive, related to issues of the job market, the economy, Lima-centralized policies, etc. etc. Beyond just feeling down about some of the situations there are some things I can do in my role as teacher. Many of these kids that live in more difficult circumstances are those I really need to focus more attention on. I need to do what I can to provide support and encouragement and to hold them accountable...things they might not be getting from home.

La Pachamama

Another topic that we talked about during our retreat was not only justice for humans, but for the Earth in general. We read a really interesting article from Bolivia about the "Global Crisis", based in Indigenous beliefs and an intense focus on care for the Earth. Here are some interesting (translated) lines from it: "Another mandate is the respect for Mother Earth, because the earth is our home and our life...the land cannot be understood as merchandise. Who can privatize or rent our Mother?" "Everyone and everything is interdependent. It is the right to live together in equilibrium with human beings. On the Planet there are millions of living species, but only human beings have the conscience and the capacity to control our own evolution to promote harmony with nature." "The development...means anti-development that provokes huge imbalances, not only between people, but also between people and nature." "We try together to save the planet Earth, and if we save her surely we will save lives and humanity."

Beautiful view of the church from the

retreat house in Andahuaylillas

As a community we have evaluated our own actions, too. We are trying to figure out how we can live more justly and peacefully, while making less of an impact on this Earth. Our current issue that we´re addressing is the problem of food waste. It is just so incredibly wasteful and silly to put all the food waste in the garbage in a plastic bag. So we tossed around various ideas. One of my personal favorites was the idea of buying ourselves a chanchito...aka a little piggy. Pigs eat anything so it´d be perfect! As fun as it would be to have a little piglet living on the side of our house, the idea was vetoed by the boys who reminded us that pigs would be a lot of work and what if future volunteers didn´t want a pig. meh. We also thought about simply composting, but unfortunately the dirt here is really not ideal for that...it´s more like sand. Our next idea was to use these little magic bugs that eat garbage and then when they´re plump people here consume them, believing in their curative powers. Unfortunately that was also a failure when all the bugs died the first day we brought them home...I think they may have been crushed by all the mandarin peels. oops!  Finally we think we have an actual plan for dealing with the waste...somebody else´s pig. Success in solving the food waste problem...however, I still want a little piggy of our own. :)

Friends

I had some alone time hanging out in the bell
tower at the church.

So one thing that admittedly I´ve been struggling with here is friendships...or the lack thereof in my case haha Undoubtedly the most incredible aspect of my experience thus far has been the relationships that I have fostered with people here. Peruvians are incredibly hospitable, open, welcoming, and loving. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by so many people that indeed treat me with so much care and love. It´s different though, and that is what I´m having to come to terms with. Although I have a lot of people that treat me wonderfully and that are certainly friends...it´s not like my old friendships. Many of my friends are in their 30s and 40s. I hardly have many friends that are my age. I realized that our situation as volunteers just isn´t really conducive for making a lot of friends. I spend the vast majority of my day at Miguel Pro, and then almost every night I have responsibilities with my volunteer community. Also, we live about 15ish minutes from the main part of town, and with sometimes limited mobility coming to and fro can be challenging. Aside from the issue of time and location is that of money and communication. Obviously friendships aren´t based on money...but it can be helful in terms of finding things to do. There really isn´t a plethora of things to do here, so mostly people go out to restaurants, bars, clubs, pubs, the new movie theater, etc. Not exactly being made of money we can´t always be going out that often. Not having a cell phone also makes it challenging. I truly enjoy not having one and it has absolutely made me more present to the people that I am with. I love that I can be present in the moment not thinking about who I need to call or who I just got a text from. Not having one makes me realize just how rude it is when you´re talking to someone and they pull out their cell phone to answer a call or a text. Nevertheless, it can be difficult in terms of maintaining friendships. I don´t really talk to my friends here on an especially regular basis to tell them things, to be able to listen to their stories, problems, etc. I´m working on developing that sort of relationship with some people, but with the various aforementioned challenges...progress is slow. I feel like after being here for 9 months I should have a ton of friends, but that just simply isn´t the case. So I´m trying to be ok with the slow-moving progress of building friendships, while being satisfied with the amazing relationships I do have. It has been undeniably tough, because I had so many incredibly wonderful, close friends all through college especially that the transition to starting over in a new place is still difficult, even 9 months later. But I´m trying to be at peace with my current situation and try and work on those friendships I do have, while being willing to put myself out there and reach out to others while reminding myself that nearly everything is different here...including friendships.

Poquito a poquito

On vacation I did several hikes- this one was
up to a cross above Andahuaylillas.

One of the mottos for Megan Kush and I when we studied abroad together in Costa Rica was little by little as we faced the challenges of language, culture shock, and just all the changes that come with being in another country. Likewise that is something I have to continually remind myself. I sometimes get frustrated feeling like after being here 9 months now (wow!) I should feel so much more comfortable, have less problems with students, be able to dominate Spanish...and these certainly aren´t always the case. I know I´m making strides in all the aforementioned areas, but progress is slow sometimes and it can be incredibly frustrating but a good reminder too to let go and just "be"...the goal I initially set for myself. I know that things will continue to improve, even when progress seems painfully slow at times.

During vacation I also visited some Incan
ruins in Pisaq...so incredible!

Social Justice Is...

The topic of our most recent retreat was social justice. An activity we did on the retreat was coming up with our own definitions of social justice. Here is what social justice means to me:

Social justice is...

...A recognition of the innate dignity in all people.
...non-descriminate.
...love in action.
...meeting the needs of all people.
...more than just charity, but dealing with the root of injustice.
...a change in the system so that rights do not depend on where you are born, how much money you have, or     the color of your skin, but based instead on your humanity.
...a shift in prorities, lifestyles, and concerns to favor those most in need.
...God´s kingdom on Earth.
...recognizing the offensiveness that is poverty and fighting for a world in which that doesn´t exist...however
    idealistic that may be.

Letter to Humanity

As part of an activity that we did during a recent retreat we each wrote open letters to humanity. Here is my own letter:

     Why is there so much hatred in this world? With hearts filled with hatred we cannot progress as a society. Each day we are killing our best resources; we are pushing our brothers and sisters to the margins of society. We have forgotten what it means to love. Sure we love our friends, our families, but what about the beggar on the street...the sex worker in Thailand...the migrant farm workers laboring away for a few dollars a day? They are our brethren. It is time that we change our perspective, open our hearts, and let go of the egotistical facade that hinders our ability to care. We must transform our understanding of what it means to be a member of the human family, as well as members of a broader family that includes animals and plants. We are not Kings and Queens of this world. We are near-sighted people. We have the tendency to care little about those or that which does not immediately or directly affect us. But we are fools, for we are all connected- bound by our humanity. And in this increasingly globalized society in which we live, we are more intimately connected. We sometimes forget this, though. No, we all too often forget this. We are blind to the reality that the decisions one person makes can and do affect others, even if they may be on the other side of the word. Our near-sightedness is destroying us. We should strive to be far-sighted people- willing to look beyond ourselves as well as willing to look into the future and see how our actions today will affect the future of the world. The connection that binds us humans around world today stretches far into the recesses of history and far into the future. A recognition of this unseen and sometimes unspoken human bond necessitates a change in mind-set and corresponding actions. Love and compassion naturally flows from a shift in views. Thus, the hope for our society lies in our ability to see the dignity in humans, to see them not just as strangers, but as brothers and sisters-part of one human family, one body in Christ. 

Musings

I´ve had a lot on my mind lately, so rather than picking just one theme to write about, I decided to include a bit of various aspects of my experience- the good, the bad, the frustrating, and the heart warming.

Market Day

Choclo

Of all the chores that we have on our chore chart (we have a rotation of cleaning, cooking, and planning spirtuality/community nights) my favorite is grocery shopping. Going shopping for food here is unlike anything else. It is both a cultural experience, and a sensory one! Mercado Grau resembles a maze in which there are people selling their food in not just every "aisle", but also every nook and cranny both inside and outside of the building. The best way to describe the market is a farmer´s market on steroids. If you are not a seasoned Grau shopper or paying close attention you may find yourself walking in circles as shoppers stream by and the colors and sounds of the madness of the market blur together. Also if you´re not on your A-game you might likely run into the body of a pig swinging from a hook or some entrails dangling about in the meat section- my least favorite area of the market. (Admittedly I had to leave a market one day when I was shopping for beef heart with a friend. The smell was overwhelming, and I frankly had just never seen anything quite like it. My stomach rejected the smell and sight of the Señora filleting the heart. Although I´m still not a big fan of intestines or liver or heart or chicken feet you´ve got to hand it to the people. There is little on the animal that gets wasted.)

An outsider may view the market and wonder how in the world anyone could get their shopping done with so many people selling things...the options are overwhelming! After numerous trips there I´ve figured out where things are, and what makes it easier is that nearly every shopper has their "casera/o". Here in Peru, shoppers refer to the person from whom they are buying something their "casera o casero" and in turn the vendor uses the same term to describe the shopper. There seems to be more of this sense of a relationship between the two, as well as a sense of loyalty. Every week we buy from the same people, and you come to know one another and rely on one another as well. Your casera/o is someone you could ask advice about how to cook a certain vegetable or herb for example. And often they will provide you with the "yapita"...a little extra of something as a thank you for your loyalty and to encourage you to come back the next time.

My roommate Maureen and a vegetable casera.

The market experience here is polar opposite from that of the super markets that most people from the U.S. are accustomed to. In Grau the food is out there in the open, not packaged; the fruit is not waxy or clean, but imperfect as it should be. You get a chance to interact with the people that grow the food rather than merely picking something from a shelf without giving a second thought to where it came from. I love that the people park their trucks outside and sell directly from there...and that food comes directly from the farms. I appreciate the fact that there are fewer middle men...that the exchange of money and goods is personal. I love how the experience is just so REAL. For all of these reasons and so much more going to Grau beats cleaning the bathrooms any day ;)

"Where you invest your love you invest your life."

These lyrics of the song Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons have really resonated with me here, and given me reason to reflect on the decisions that I make. I have become keenly aware of the importance of the investment of ones time. In certain moments I have made decisions that were for my own well-being, without keeping in mind the needs of others. While I certainly recognize how incredibly important self-care is, I find that it can be easy for me to do more for me, less for others under the guise of self-care. For example, staying at home to relax rather than visiting a neighbor that has been struggling with financial and personal issues or spending time on the internet at school rather than playing with the kids during recess. Just like with soo many things in life it is a tricky balance setting aside time for the things you want/need to do for yourself and not closing yourself off to others.

In the past several weeks I made a few decisions to spend my time being present to the needs of others rather than my own, and after the experience I do not regret a bit what in the beginning felt like a "waste" of my own precious time. Case 1. A friend of mine invited my roommates and I to have lunch with her family one weekend. Knowing that lunch is an all-day affair I initially hesitated, but decided to go. Just as I expected the "lunch" extended well into the evening, but my concerns about the things I wanted to do at home disappeared as my friend´s mom gave us the most sincere thank you for coming to visit her. She slaved away preparing us a meal, and she was the one thanking us. She looked at us, and remarked that she spent the whole afternoon smiling. We made her happy, she said. Case 2. One evening when all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and watch a movie with my roomies (somebody donated a TV to the JVs awhile back, but we made the decision to store it elsewhere so as to try to live more simply, but it gets brought out occasionally). However, I had promised a friend that was kind of struggling with some stuff that I would visit her that day. I had gone to her house earlier, but she and her husband were out. I could have easily told them that, but it was sort of gnawing at my conscience that I should go back. The visit initially felt like an obligation rather than something I wanted to do, but as in the other case those feelings soon disapppeared during the conversation. They ended up sharing some personal stuff with me, and I feel like our friendship was brought to a new level as a result. They expressed how grateful they were for the visit, and I know they meant it. I think they just wanted someone to listen, and I was able to fill that role for them. I truly enjoy spending time with them, but sometimes I get caught up in my own life, and don´t make the time for other people. But then I must remind myself why am I here. Who am I here to serve, and in what way? It really comes down to a question therefore of investing your time in a way that is an extension of your love.

Plaza de Armas in Tacna

A question of vocation

Frankly, I´ve been feeling down about teaching. As odd as it may sound, I fear that teaching has not brought out the best in me. I consider myself to be a pretty loving and caring person, however, this side of me is not easily transmitted in the classroom because of my preoccupation with discipline and control in the classroom. This is so much the case that I´m beginning to doubt myself and what I thought to be two very present characteristics.

Teaching has been a huge challenge for me. There have been numerous days in which I have left Miguel Pro feeling disheartened and pretty miserable about myself. Monday was one of those days. Upon finishing up one of my more difficult classes (9th graders) feeling a bit downtrodden, I sruck up a conversation with one of my colleagues and was absolutely awestruck by her comments. She was telling me how teaching is her therapy; how she may be having a terrible day and when she enters the classroom all her problems melt away. She even named my most problematic student as a source of comic relief for her. Her sincerity and obvious love for her job and the students moved me.

I shared this with one of my roommates and told her that I was concerned that I don´t feel that same love for teaching. Entering the classroom is generally a source of stress for me rather than a way of relaxing. She listened carefully and responded by reminding me that it sounds like teaching is our colleagues vocation. That that is in fact what she should be doing...the career in which she´s supposed to be in. She pointed out simply that teaching may not be my vocation. Indeed I didn´t choose to be a teacher, but was rather selected to be a teacher in order to fill a need here. It may not be something that I look forward to, that I love, or even something that I´m particularly good at, but nevertheless I am here...giving it my best shot for better or for worse.

Last night at a meeting, another of my colleages commented, "Estoy enamorado con mi trabajo." I am in love with my job. Although I may not be able to say that about teaching in the present moment, I´m going to hold onto the hope that one day I will be able to make a similar comment about my job. How beautiful to be in love with what you do.

Kids say the darndest things

Not as a means to poke fun of or exploit my students, but rather as a way to share with you some of the joys I´ve experienced correcting their work or in the classroom with their funny comments, I wanted to include some samples of the work that students have turned into me as well as some comments.

• 1st grader: "Tia, I stayed up allll night working on a drawing for you. I didn´t go to bed until 7:00 p.m. trying to finish it!!" 
• 1st grader: "Tia, preciosa profesora de inglés!" translation: "Tia, precious English teacher ."
• 1st grader: "Tia, I love you...I´m never going to forget you." :)
• 1st grader: "Tia, are you 500 years old?" Me: "No, I´m a little bit younger than that." Other 1st grader: "I know...you look like you´re 40!"

(Tia is the word young kids use to address their teachers, although it translates as "aunt.")

One of the best comments related to age I´ve heard thus far was directed to my roommate. One of her fifth graders informed her that his dad gave him permission to marry her in 10 years. When she asked him if he knew how old she´d be in 10 years he responded by saying that she´d be the same age as him (obviously!). She informed him that unfortunately in 10 years she will be in fact 32 years old. His response: "What?! That is OLD! That is SO old! You are going to be as old as dirt. In fact you´re going to be dead!"

Precious.

¡Qué Rico!

During a recent silent retreat that I was taking part in, I was staring out at the mountains in the distance in the early morning hours where life seems a little bit simpler, the hustle and bustle has yet to begin, and a pleasant quietness has yet to be interrupted when a common Spanish phrase came to my mind...¡qué rico! This phrase directly translates as "How rich!" I realized that I really love this saying. It´s used ofen to describe food that you like, but also other things. For example, a cool breeze on a hot day may prompt someone to exclaim...¡qué rico! or when you tell someone that you´re going on vacation they might respond with the same comment. I really love this usage of the word "rich" that in this sense has absolutely nothing to do with money or material value. It is used to describe the richness of experiences or beauty, which certainly represent a wealth of sorts, but one that can so often be overlooked.

Here in Peru there is a lot of pride, and also a lot of recognition of richness in other facets of life outside of material wealth. I have heard many times over comments about economic struggles, but how despite that they still are incredibly grateful for the blessings that they have. Despite hardships, the people here remain proud and incredibly generous. At the same retreat we sang a beautiful song that really verbalized this facet of life here. There may be poverty, but the people are wealthy in other ways. Regardless of hardships or problems, many people remain joyful and it´s true that they just keep on dancing.

Danza a mi pais
Vivo en un pais maravilloso, lleno de riqueza y voluntad. Dios pintó mi alma blanco y rojo, y por nada cambio este lugar. Mi pueblo es valiente y generoso, pobre pero rico, en dignidad y ni el sufrimiento ni el enojo, le han hecho que deje de danzar

Coro: Y así, danza, danza, danza, con sus penas, con sus alegrías, con su caminar. Danza, danza, danza porque espera que el Dios de la vida lo liberara.

Si vas a vivir en otros tierras, diles lo que pasa aquí en verdad, cuéntales que el odio y la miseria no nos han podido doblegar. Habla de toda la gente buena que ha dado su vida por la paz, y que tras su muerte los que quedan se han unido para continuar.

Here´s my English translation of the song...(not perfect-sorry!)

Dance of my country
I live in a marvelous country, full of richness and willpower. God painted my soul white and red, and I wouldn´t change this place for anything. The people are valient and genorous; poor but rich in dignity, and not suffering or anger has made us stop dancing.

Chorus: And like that dance, dance, dance with your sadness, with your happiness, on your journey. Dance, dance, dance because there´s hope that the God of life will liberate.

If you go live in other lands tell them what actually happens here, tell them the hate and misery has not broken us. Speak of the all the good people that have given their lives for peace and through their death those that remain have united to continue.

Más Fotos

 Here are a few pictures from Rose and my trip up the southern Peruvian coast this past February, as well as a few random pictures I wanted to share! Enjoy!

Huacachina...the first stop on our adventure

Oasis in the middle of the desert



The sand dunes...check out the people in the distance! 



Posing for a pic :)

He looks like such a valient little penguin. Oh ya...there´s penguins in Peru :D

Poor man´s Galapagos Island...Islas Ballestas

Sunset at Paracas...a tranquilo little beach town

I really liked this house in Chincha...it had a lot of character!

Rose and I were napping at the beach when we were suddenly interrupted by a herd of cows.

My first time eating anticucho...aka (beef) heart

Our recent journey to Lima allowed for a little bit of sight seeing!

A lesson in simplicity

A few weeks ago I went on a trip with one of my roommates (Rose) for one last hoorah before school started. We journeyed up the coast from Tacna to Ica to Huacachina to Pisco to Paracas to Chincha and back! It was quite an adventure and a great way to end the summer vacation. It was also a good lesson in simplicity, and it gave me a lot to ponder in terms of privilege as well.

I´ve been fortunate enough to be able to do a lot of traveling in my few 23 years. I know that traveling in and of itself is a privilege and I´ve definitely exercised that privilege. When I´m traveling with my friends I´m more than happy doing it on a budget, but up until this excursion, I had never traveled quite so frugally. Although living here in Tacna on my stipend has been quite easy, attempting to travel on a stipend was another story. Our goal was to be able to travel within our budget. On the trip it was a little bit difficult for me to get out of the mindset that I have had while traveling in the past or studying abroad, to take advantage of everything...food, activities, going out, etc. I didn´t throw around money in the past, but I never worried about it too much. I was used to doing what I wanted and saying no very few times. I didn´t distinguish between wants and needs.

It was difficult, because I felt like Rose and I were constantly fretting about money. Rose and I would spend literally hours walking around looking for cheap options for lodging and food. When you stop to do the conversions the differences were a matter of dollars, but when we were doing this trip with such little money, every cent counted. Rose and I were getting low on money and we had splurged to go on a trip to see penguins (yes, there are penguins in Peru...soo cool), yet we still wanted to visit a national park. We decided that to save what would essentially be about $9 to do a tour that we would do it on our own. This meant that we had to walk about 3 miles to the park entrance and then an additional 5 or so the next landmark. We made it to the park entrance and with the sun beating down on us gave up and turned around a bit defeated and tired. Another day, when we were visiting the sand dunes in Huacachina we were being hassled by people to do a sand buggy trip. One guy kept asking me over and over and I kept telling him no. He kept repeating that it would be so fun, and I told him I sure it would be and that we would love to. Finally I told him we couldn´t afford it. To be honest I wasn´t used to saying that and not used to not doing something I wanted to do for the sake of finances.

I learned that trying to save money can of course be costly in the end, but this can be a difficult things to balance. For example, Rose and I decided to spend more money to travel on a bus that has a reputation for being a safe option. Likewise we had to look for lodging that was within our budget, but wouldn´t put ourselves in a dangerous situation. This is not always an easy thing to balance. I learned that it´s so much easier to eat horribly unhealthy food on a budget. On several occasions Rose and I opted for the 50 cent mystery hamburger rather than the better food. Sadly that backfired one day. In an effort to save money, Rose and I looked for a cheap ¨menú¨one day, which is basically a 2 course meal and a drink. We found one for about $1.50 which was exciting until I was hit with some sickness later that day, from which now after over 2 weeks am finally recovered. Nevertheless you have to make sacrifices, but obviously not at the expense of your well-being although that simply is not the reality for many.

It was a good and humbling experience to learn to make sacrifices (like not going out dancing despite the prevalence of salsa music...so sad!), to have to distinguish between wants and needs, and to say no. I had to remember that I am not here to aprovechar (take advantage) of everything, but also to try and live a bit more simply. I´m a bit disappointed that because I spent a lot of my money on the trip I won´t be able to participate in a dance class that I was hoping to do in March, but the reality is that you have to make sacrifices to do certain things. I´m fortunate in that I was able to travel at all and that really the sacrifices we made were quite minimal.

Although it was a humbling experience and a good lesson in simplicity, in the back of my mind is still my struggle with fully being in solidarity with the poor. The sacrifices made during our trip were really quite superficial things. I´m living more simply, yes. I´m learning to say no to things. I´m learning to better distinguish wants and needs. At the same time though, it´s tough to really be able to understand when I have a bank account that could be accessed if I wanted to. I have family at home that I could call up at any moment to help me. I have support. I have a back up plan. Unfortunately much of the world´s population does not have these lifelines that I do. So while I´m trying to live a little bit more in solidarity with those who struggle economically, I cannot truly understand their position. I cannot really be in solidarity with them. Sometimes I feel like this is somewhat of a social experiment of sorts that I´m choosing to partake in for two years. I´m sure there are many people that wish they could live somewhere and live ¨simply¨ for just two years. My being able to do this is a privilege in and of itself. While yes it is a sacrifice of sorts, it is also an expression of the privilege that I have. There are many people that cannot give up two years to serve. Nevertheless, although cannot fully understand the situation of a lot of people here and all over the world, I am going to try to understand, try to serve and continue trying to live out the values of simplicity and solidarity.

Mes de Misión, Reflexión y Perspectiva

Not only was this month about ¨mission¨, but also an opportunity to reflect and gain new perspective and insight. I have officially survived my first month-long mission trip with teenagers! Mes de Misión is a month long service trip that the students of both Miguel Pro and Cristo Rey must make before entering their second to last year of high school. Both schools are Jesuit so one of the main lessons that they try to instill in the students is the importance of loving and serving others. Regardless of ones own situation you must always seek to serve others in need. This is what the mission of the month is...to teach the kids how to love and serve. This means not just loving and serving the outside community, but also the community of students. They were forced to learn how to live together for a whole month, without many of the commodities they were used to. They had to learn how to rely on one another, and how to have a group mentality rather than an individualistic attitude.

Mes de Misión 2011 took place in Ticaco, Peru which I truly felt was a wonderful site for the experience. It is a very small town in the mountains, where the people rely almost exclusively on the land for their survival. The landscape is stunning with the green mountains and all of the farms on the hillsides. It being a mountain town made it challenging however in our ability to breath. It is about 3,200 m high...essentially two miles!!! The altitude became a bit of an issue when it came to the work that we were doing. We spent almost the whole month cleaning paths that the people use to access their farms. We thus walked up and down up and down up and down these dirt paths kicking and moving rocks aside for a month. It was incredible seeing the people from Ticaco traverse these trails. As we struggled some days, we were often greeted by elderly townspeople that were no strangers to hard work and especially not to the difficult climb to and from the farm. I say that Ticaco was a wonderful site, because it was great for both the kids as well as for me to learn about a different way of life, and to recognize how indebted we are to these people for the food that comes to our table. How easy it is to go to the market to buy food without giving a second thought to where it comes from or the people who brought it there. It seems so unjust that these people whose sweat and tears help feed us are so often the ones that suffer a terrible poverty.

I had many surreal experiences in Ticaco. I had a feeling on more than one occassion that I had gone back in time, simply because the town did not have many of the commodities that I am so accustomed to not only in the U.S. but also in Tacna. Since the people live off the land, they are at the mercy of Mother Nature, thus while we were there we too learned just how precious water is. On several occassions the water got cut off so we had to go to a nearby canal with buckets to carry back to the school. I neared the canal one day and was greeted with the site of our students on their knees washing clothes in the canal. On my return trip to the school, with water on my head, as I passed by the adobe homes, I also passed by sheep and donkeys in the streets. While surreal at first, by the end of the month these sites became a normal part of the experience. One aspect that was difficult to get used to was the wood-fired stove. Although they say that the food can be tastier when cooked on one of these stoves, they are so incredibly labor intensive, especially when cooking for nearly 40 people. We also had to go look for firewood, which required some incredibly difficult hikes to locate a decent amount. The moments hiking up hills with wood tied to our backs or shoulders also seemed a bit surreal, but gave me an incredible appreciation for the gas stove we have in Tacna, as well as tons of respect for those people that do those hikes on a regular basis for years and years in order to survive.

I knew that Mes de Misión would surely not be an easy experience, but I think it might have been even more challenging than I anticiapted. The work was certainly not the most difficult component for me, but rather dealing with the students. The experience forced me to take a critical look at myself, which is never easy either. I became painfully aware of personality flaws previously unseen to me. Before coming here I told myself that even if I might not be the best teacher and certainly not the most experienced, I would be able to make up for these in the love I would show the kids. As difficult as it is for me to admit, I found it much more difficult than I imagined to show love and kindness to the students. The lack of respect and whining really brought me down. I was shocked at how lazy these kids were. I couldn´t seem to understand how some kids thought it was fair that while they were sitting down doing nothing, their classmates were still working. I felt like I was consantly nagging them, and it was exhausting. When we´d finish work, I was always so tired not from the labor but rather from trying to get them to actually work. I hated feeling like a nag, but it was especially tough when my partner didn´t support me or help me to motivate the kids so it fell on my shoulders to be the one to keep them going.

One of the most difficult aspects of the experience was figuring out exactly how to motivate the students. I quickly realized that what motivates me is very different than what motivates teenagers. The work was admittedly boring and incredibly monotonous, but it was work that the townspeople needed us to do. Whenever someone would pass us on the trail on compliment us on our work or thank us, I found motivation to keep going. One day an old lady passed us as we were working and she commented how she had fractured her leg when she tripped on a rock in trail and now she feels confident going to her farm even at night because the paths are so clean. These moments moved me and motivated me, but sadly I don´t think the kids were as affected by those interactions. I suppose it is mostly a maturity thing...

I realized that balance is going to be one of the most difficult things while I am here. I struggled with how to get the kids to listen to me without yelling, how to get the kids to respect me yet still keep them disciplined, how to love them and keep them in line and especially how to get them to feel comfortable enough with me to be able to share their lives, while simultaneously maintaining some distance recognizing my role as their teacher.

The root of most my difficulties was of course the struggles with Spanish. I felt like I could have done so much better in my position as a group leader had I been able to communicate better with them. Granted I learned a lot, especially the command form of Spanish, but I was really missing the words to have profound conversations. There were so many moments when I hoped to have a meaningful conversation or hoped to comfort the kids in their moments of need, but lacked the words. It was incredibly frustrating and humbling.

Nevertheless, the experience was also filled with beautiful moments. I had a few conversations with kids that made me grateful to be there. The afternoon when I was sitting down and two girls came and layed by me, their heads in my lap...missing their famlies, in need of some loving. The night that the girls decided that us volunteers needed to get out of our grundgy clothes and into their clothes for a birthday celebration. (Nothing like fitting into 14 and 15 year olds´ clothes for a confidence booster!!)  The laughter, the smiles...these were the moments that I had to hold onto. I was also especially grateful to my fellow volunteers that were an incredible source of support to me. They were there to listen to me, to comfort me, and to understand me.

I am certainly glad that Mes de Misión is only a once a year type of deal but I am grateful for the experience, and the lessons I learned. I made it out alive, with no injuries or illnesses (despite an obsene number of health codes violated), with a renewed sense of what it is to love and serve and to give fully of oneself. Both the challenges and positive moments will help me to grow, but nevertheless it´s so good to be back in my home away from home...Tacna.

Hogar Dulce Hogar

Home Sweet Home!

So a couple of weekends ago my roommates and I moved out of our host families´ houses and into our house in Habitat. I´m definitely sad to not be with my host family anymore...it was a really great experience. I feel so fortunate to have had almost an entire month with a Peruvian family that truly loved me and treated me like their 5th child. At the same time it is really nice to have some independence and privacy. It´s also nice to unpack and start to feel a little bit settled in our new home. The other day one of the neighborhood boys and I were chatting and he asked what we do for fun since we don´t have a TV in the house and I said we cook together, play games together, read and spend a lot of time talking! These activities have truly been wonderful! So much of the time that we would spend doing other things we just spend hanging out with each other! I am so grateful to have the other volunteers to be going through this experience with!





D-10...my home for 2 years! It´s not the prettiest thing, but the goal is to paint it this year!



Dining Room/Kitchen/Living Room area

The perilous steps leading to my bedroom

Our top of the line ¨washer and dryer¨

Patio area...a bit of a mess right now!

My room...in desperate need of some decorating!

 Christmas in Peru

So this was the first Christmas I´ve ever spent away from home, and it was really tough. I was really sad, especially on Christmas Eve. I had to leave Mass on account of crying. I was just really missing home! It´s so tough being away from home for the holidays, because the best part about the holidays is getting to spend time with loved ones, especially family. Therefore not being able to be with my family made it not seem quite like Christmas. Two of my housemate´s families were here however, which was wonderful to at least be around a family. It was really sad, but I did feel blessed to have a lot of wonderful people here in Peru to spend the holidays with. It was also interesting getting to experience Christmas in a different country. Here, Christmas Eve is when the big celebration happens, so we went to mass here in Habitat on the 24th, which was really beautiful by the way! At the end of Mass the congregation was addressed in several native languages with a special Christmas message. It was really lovely! After that we went around to give out Christmas baskets to some families here in Habitat and we sang them some Christmas carols. Then everyone split up to go to their host families to wait for Christmas. It seems to resemble our celebration of the New Year. Everyone waits anxiously for midnight and then at that time everyone hugs each other and wishes each other a Merry Christmas. Meanwhile the streets resemble a war zone with the amount of smoke and noise from all the firecrackers! After that we went into the house for a toast, to open gifts and finally to eat! We sat down to eat around 1 am, so of course it was a late night! Christmas day isn´t really celebrated as much as the night before, so we had a pretty tranquilo day of hanging out with the family. After mass that night we had some hot chocolate (despite the fact that it is summer here) and of course, the Peruvian staple- Paneton! This food is essentially fruit cake, and it is consumed in amazing quantities in this country! I decided that the more I eat it the less I like it. On a side note...nativity scenes here are HUGE....literally sometimes! I included some photos of some nativity scenes from a house that we visited that basically transforms their entire place into a bunch of different nativity scenes that represent various regions of Peru. This means that the nativity scene to represent the jungle included giant insects and monkies...and jungle Barbie and Ken hahaha they cracked me up!

Christmas Din with the volunteers and the families of two housemates that were visiting for the holidays.



A nativity scene made to represent Tacna.

A Barbie nativity scene!

Christmas Mass

Mis hermanos (brothers)

My Peruvian parents and Mallory

Cultural Stuff

Of course there are soo many interesting cultural things that I´m learning to get used to everyday! One thing that continues to be difficult is the language of course! I knew coming here would be challenging in terms of learning Spanish, but I underestimated how different it would be. The Spanish is relatively easy to understand, but they use soo many words that are different than what I learned. Here are a few examples of some different words:

Tacos- high heels

Palta (not aguacate)- avocado

poroto (not frijoles)- beans

chela (not cerveza)- beer

lapicero (not pluma or boligrafo)- pen

wa-wa - baby (in Quechua)

They also use a whole bunch of slang, which makes it especially challenging! I have no idea what the students say to me half the time, because they speak so quickly and use so much slang! These tricky Peruvians also like to switch the letters of words around or for example start to say one word and finish it with another word. Like a kid might say... mier (the first part of a swear word in Spanish) -coles (meaning Wednesday). I think after Mes de mision I´m going to be an expert at both Peruvian slang and swear words!

Speaking of Peruvian Spanish...one noticable trait is the usage of the diminutive. By adding -ita or -ito to the end of words it is made smaller so to speak. So you can use the diminutive if you´re referring to something that is indeed smaller or it kind of makes words kinder. So if you called your grandma vieja (old) it would be disrespectful, but if you said viejita it would be totally ok. As another example my host mom one day described a salad as una ensaladita con un poquito de tomatito y choclito y cebollita y lechugita haha

Peruvians really like their nicknames...which tend to be very blunt and often relate to the physical appearence of someone. For example if you were in the street and called out ¨Chato¨ (a nickname for someone short) who knows how many heads would turn haha Some of the nicknames are interesting and address things that in the US we do not talk about...like the nickname Gorda for example is super common...meaning fat. Or Negra (meaning black) for someone with darker skin or Chino (meaning Chinese). These would definitely be offensive names back at home, but here it´s so common. I´m not judging, but I guess I just wonder how a teenage girl´s self esteem would be if she´s constantly being called fat by everyone. hmmm...So I too have acquired some nicknames...One of which is Piolin, meaning Tweety in Spanish. Apparently my blonde hair and light skin makes me earn the name of a yellow bird. Another name is Flaca, meaning skinny or as my host sister calls me occassionaly...esqueleto con patas meaning basically a walking skeleton...they completely overestimate my skinniness. I´m sure with all the delicious food that nickname will fade in the next two years!!